Heart Center Explosion ♥

Yesterday while doing yoga I practiced Urdhva Dhanurasana or Full Wheel or Upward Bow or whatever you want to call it. I try to practice it almost every day, and it's almost mundane because I've been doing it so regularly for so long. But yesterday something happened. Something much more rare for my practice that I've been doing for like 10 years.

I was in the pose - and I had this huge-brilliant-lit-up heart-center explosion of wonderful kind of moment and I took this one enormous full bright breath. It was like I had been drowning all my life and finally got to the surface and took the biggest most life-affirming – awakening – breath I would ever get to take. I felt like it was the fullest most spectacular breath anyone could ever experience, but just as soon as I got excited about it (in the middle of the next big grand breath) – I lost it. Immediately I was thrust back down into the muddied waters of breathing as usual. Was I disappointed to have lost that breath? Only a little. Clinging – grasping for things - tends to make us lose them. Simple example… a wet bar of soap. Squeeze too tight in your effort to keep it – and it slips away.

I have this happen a lot – not in such a brilliant fiery-epiphany type situation as yesterday’s backbend – but in smaller victories. Often, when I practice handstands or scorpion pose with my husband present – when I get into a really good steady stance – I get overly-excited and say “LOOK!” Which immediately makes me tense up and lose it. Gone. Usually, he only gets to see me fall out of the pose because I get too worked up about it. Ah well.

Softening to the experience of your practice (be it your yoga, your music, your art, your life) opens up immense possibilities… and when you find that brief moment of awakening – you can softly dwell in that space where you are bathed in its light for just a moment – then move on. You can’t even consciously try to have it again because simply by looking for it – you push it further away.

It’s a lesson in non-grasping… one of the Yamas and Niyamas which I’ll discuss at a later date.


Alix said...

Cuuute puppy!

ModredVintage said...

I haven't done yoga in awhile, I need to get back to it. And yes, cute puppy. :)

Mandy said...

I just started yoga this week, and I'm really enjoying it! I've always heard that it does wonders for stress, but never really believed it. Everyone was right, it calms me right down -and that's very hard to do short of a few margaritas :)